Indecent Exposure
by matrix.1114
Summary: All about Stephanie and her indecent exposure.... Neither babe nor cupcake.


**This was an idea of mine from the phrase indecent exposure, hence the title. It may become more than a one-shot if people seem to enjoy it. It may not be up to par with what I normally write, as I felt rushed to write and upload this before I go away tomorrow. So, I apologize in advance for spelling / grammatical errors-they bother me. So, without further ado, I present Indecent Exposure**

**Matrix**

--

_Bring... bring..._

My cellphone went off at seven o'clock p.m. two minutes before my arrival at my apartment. I was stopped at a red light, so I figured it was safe to attempt to try to find my phone inside my big black leather bag. I rifled through it and found the ringing phone just as the light turned green.

Damn it, I thought. Just my luck. The impatient lady in the car behind me beeped, and I sped off after giving a rude Italian hand gesture to the car.

I remembered the still-ringing phone clutched in my right hand and looked down at the caller ID. Rangeman Offices. Ranger knew where I was at all times, as he had implanted a GPS device in the form of a pen into my handbag (talk about being over-protective).

So I assumed the reason he was calling would be a distraction job. Not my idea of a good time, especially considering my ideal ending to the day would be to go home, eat some Tasty Kakes, take a shower and, being very tired after racing after a skip since ten this morning, go to sleep. But no such luck. The Batman was calling, and I had to answer. Otherwise, he'd freak out, assuming the worst (kidnapping), and I'd have the Merry Men, and later Ranger, to deal with.

Considering all of that, I answered the phone.

"Hello," I said, hesitant as to which of the men from Rangeman I would be speaking to.

"Hey," said Ranger. "I need you at Pino's in half an hour. One of Rangeman's skips is going for a drink." He left it at that. I already knew what Ranger needed me for- something I, as the second woman employed by Ranger, could do.

I had to act as a distraction, getting a skip's attention. I'm often scantly dressed, in short skirts and low-cut tops. Thankfully Morelli had never seen me doing this job while we were dating. Right now, we were in the off-again stage of our relationship, and I didn't care whether or not Morelli saw me with Ranger catching a skip, even though I knew it was probable if we were going to Pino's. If he saw me in a minimal amount of clothes, he'd make fun of my job even more. But maybe he'd miss me ... well, I don't want to think about why we're off- again.

Trying to clear my head of Morelli, I told Ranger, "Sure. See you then."

"Dress as usual, babe," Ranger instructed me. "See you." Before I could respond, he hung up. As usual, I didn't get many words out of Ranger's mouth.

I headed home, per my plan, but instead of gorging myself with Tasty Kakes, I took a shower. Ranger had told me half an hour, but I may need to stretch that a bit...

--

Fourty-five minutes later, I got out of my car and walked in between the two large, black cars parked in the Pino's lot.

Ranger got out of the car and responded with his usual one-word answer: "Babe."

I knew I had outdid myself. I was wearing the tightest, shortest skirt I owned, which happened to be black, matched with the tightest shirt I owned, which happened to be very low-cut. And it was green, bringing out the color in my eyes. With some green eye shadow on my lids, black eye liner, and plenty of mascara, my miracle self esteem-booster, I looked great. To finish the ensemble, I was wearing 4 inch strappy moss-green heels. My hair was teased up unto a sexy bun.

I was ready to kick some perp ass. As an added bonus to the outfit, Morelli would be quite shocked to see me in the outfit. And he'd want me back. But I wasn't sure if I wanted that...

Ranger handed me a wire and told me, "Try to find somewhere to hide it," while looking up and down at my ensemble, making it obvious you could see every curve on my body. Lucky I didn't eat any Tasty Kakes today.

"So, where's the skip seated?" I asked, after tucking the wire somewhere it wouldn't be spotted.

"By the bar," Ranger answered simply. He handed me a picture of the skip: Caucasian; beer-belly; dark, greasy hair; and a unibrow.

I walked in, with my head up high. I needed all that extra mascara since Morelli was probably at Pino's and would see me trying to "pick up" an extremely ugly perp; cops are regularly at Pino's. But it was my job.

I opened the door and immediately felt eyes on me. Expected though it was, I saw Morelli a corner booth with a cop buddy. He saw me and I tried my best to be coy and ignore him.

Instead, I walked over to the skip, who had an empty seat next to him. I said, in my most flirty voice, "Excuse me? Is this seat taken?"

When he looked up at me, his eyes widened. I knew I looked good, but he could barely get words out. He nodded and seemed to compose himself, asking me, "Could I get you a drink?"

"Yes, please," I said. "A martini."

He ordered the drink and asked, "So, what's your name, sweetie?"

"Stephanie," I told him, batting my eyelashes. "And what's your name?"

"Homer," he said, winking at me. "Like the Roman poet."

Idiot, I thought. Homer was a Greek poet. But instead I replied, with a smile, "Cool."

"Maybe I can read you some poetry sometime," he told me.

"Maybe tonight," I responded, leading him on. I really needed a drink if I was going to keep doing this.

As if by magic, my drink appeared. I took a great sip.

"So," he began, "what kind of ... field do you work in?" He was having a hard time forming sentences together; he'd already been drinking for half an hour. It would be painless to get him outside. Only my reputation would be damaged. Easy job.

"Law," I responded, knowing he'd never remember our conversation.

"Oh, that's ... great," he told me. "I'm a construction worker. Need anything built, I'm your man." He took another swig of beer.

I started getting hungry. Noticing a bowl of peanuts, I leaned for them. And I accidently showed him, and most of the restaurant, most of my left boob.

"Oops," I said, sitting up straight. His eyes were locked down, staring at my boobs, so I shifted away. Doing so, I noticing Morelli coming towards me. My skip, noticing my turn, saw Morelli, taking out the badge, and took off. Not even saying goodbye. Morelli stepped up to me without seeing the skip at all.

"Indecent exposure," Morelli said blandly, as if he were talking to anyone. "You'll have to come with me to the station." And then he cuffed me.

My eyes widened at him. I was gawking.

"What?" I asked, dumb-struck.

"Well, your entire boob was just out in public for anyone to see. That's indecent exposure. You'll have to come with me to the station. You'll get a court date. But you know the procedure, being a bounty hunter and all. So, of course you won't miss the date."

There was nothing more I could say. I knew Ranger and the rest of the Merry Men would be laughing their asses off. Morelli led me out of the restaurant.

In the parking lot, I saw Ranger cuffing the perp. Morelli looked over in the direction of the two black SUVs, but he led me to his beat-up cop car. I saw a faint smile on Morelli's lips as he put me in the back of the cruiser. He hadn't foiled the plan in the slightest- Ranger always got his man.

Morelli will, however, ruin my life for the next week. My mother would hear about this incident, especially about going to the police station, and will probably keep me from pineapple upside-down cake. Her wrath was great when she wasn't happy with me, and that cake had a large hold over me.

Plus, with my luck, one of the Merry Men had snapped a photo of the incident, and it would be posted in the office tomorrow.

I knew I would never be able to live down the "indecent exposure" for the rest of my life.


End file.
